A house brick, yesterday

A house brick, yesterday

The global drinks industry is clamouring to acquire a company that has patented a method to produce beer, soft drinks, spirits and wine from the common house brick.

The company, Hilaria, has discovered that, by storing a house brick in water for varying periods of time, the liquid takes on the characteristics of different drinks categories. By marinating the brick for 24 hours, the water takes on a cola taste. A week in water sees the liquid become beer, while a month results in the creation of Cognac.

Wine can be produced by adding twigs to the brick water.

“We came across the process by accident, obviously,” said Hilaria's CEO, Eloy d'Amerval. “After our dog developed the inability to walk in a straight line having drunk from a puddle on a building site, we had the water analysed.

“The puddle water had an abv of 40% and tasted great.”

Since making the discovery, d'Amerval has been inundated by drinks companies. “The 'phone hasn't stopped ringing since we registered the process,” he said, before warning companies: “Don't try it yourself, though.

“We'll make you look like idiots.”